Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize