Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
