I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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