when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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