he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's blow job season.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
