i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize