Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She bit a glass in half.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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