C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
