my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
