Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
