I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
