no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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