Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
please don't ironically join a cult
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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