Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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