You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
