I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
