yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
