So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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