i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
