You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
jump out the window naked night went bad
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