Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
