guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
