Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
