hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
