; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just invented taco cereal.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
