guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize