She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
