The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
