oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
