Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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