i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
