RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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