But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
