Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
