absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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