i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
