My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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