omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
