fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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