Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize