yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize