Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
