then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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