I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize