Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
