I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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