god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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