I seem to have left my pride at pride
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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