In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
