i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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