Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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