He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize