you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize