I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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