I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
