4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
