Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
